To provide our international members an unbiased picture of Maryland, we turn to guest travel expert and Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry (who could have been the next Mark Twain if only Mark Twain had used the word "booger" more):
Maryland
Maryland is a fast-growing state boasting a dynamic economy based on giving speeding tickets to people attempting to drive through. One of Maryland's major attractions is the Chesapeake Bay, a crab-intensive body of water that got its name from the Indian word "Cesapiq," which means "Chesapeake." Marylan also contains Baltimore, site of the historic Fort McHenry, where in 1812 Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner" to express the joy he felt after watching the Orioles defeat the Yankees in a critical American League East game. Maryland also boasts the nation's first umbrella factory. Sometimes Maryland gets positively obnoxious, boasting about this. You'll go to a bar where states hang out, and there will be Maryland, afte about six shots of Wild Turkey, shouting, "Oh YEAH? Well you, wanna know who had the FIRST UMBRELLA FACTORY? Huh? LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" The Official State Sport of Maryland—we swear we are not makin this one up, and we urge you to look it up if you don't believe us—is jousting.
© 1991 by Dave Barry. Reprinted with permission by the author from Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, a Fawcett Columbine Book published by Ballantine Books. ISBN: 0-449-90759-7
Return to Top of Page
Return to Table of Contents