Issue No. Five

Chicon 2000 Canceled
CHICAGO, IL—In response to theYear 2000 computer software problem (the "Millennium Bug"), the United States Congress has eliminated the year 2000. The President stated, "Skipping the year 2000 will also solve that pesky problem of deciding which year to celebrate the end of the millennium." Chicon 2000 Chairman, Tom Veal, commented, "Our committee will be happy to hold onto our membership funds until whenever the next year 2000 occurs."

Philadelphia Relocates
2001 Worldcon Bid
PHILADELPHIA, PA—The Philly in 2001 Worldcon bid committee just announced that they were moving their bid to Winnipeg, Canada. Citing the recent steep price increases for cheese steak hoagies in Philadelphia, committee chair Todd Dashoff stated, "Winnipeg is located in the heart of Canada's vast wheat growing region. Good cheap bread as well as excellent sources of cheese and beef are readily available." The bid will be calling itself "Winnie in 2001" and will use "Old MacDonald" as their spokesperson.

Poe Tradition Kept Alive
JANUARY 19, 1998—Since 1949, mysterious strangers have visited the Baltimore burial vault of Edgar Allan Poe before dawn. Each year on Poe's birthday, an anonymous person leaves three roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac at his marble sepulcher in Westminster Hall. This year, a pirate-garbed figure was seen adding a case of empty Captain Morgan's spiced rum bottles to the traditional offering.

DC in 007 Committee
Commits Mass Suicide
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Totally miffed by charges that they had stolen the "Fen in Black" bid theme from the Toronto in 2003 bid, the DC in 007 Worldcon bid committee killed themselves. The group broke into a Mars candy factory in Maryland and consumed vast quantities of blue M&Ms. A note on a wall of the factory (written with chocolate) stated, "We ingest the 'Unholy Blue' to join with the spirits of giant talking M&Ms." When the Baltimore in 2007 committee heard about their rival's fate, they proclaimed, "Worldcon bidding is evil!" and immediately disbanded.

Bucconeer CFO Practices
Fiscal Responsibility
BALTIMORE, MD—A wooden plank extending two stories above the main meeting space of the Baltimore Science Fiction Society's clubhouse was installed during conversion of a storage area into an office for Bucconeer. Chief Financial Officer Robert MacIntosh stated, "None of our committee members would ever exceed their budgets without authorization, so there should never be an actual need to use this plank."

The 2001 Site Selection ballot, 1998 Hugo Award ballot, and a Multi-Purpose Information Request form with Crab Feast reservation and baseball information were enclosed in Broadside Five.