An Introduction to Worldcons

We’ve asked our official mascot, Bucky the Crab, to provide some useful information for our members who may be attending their first World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon) or even their first science fiction convention. Yucky, his evil twin, could not resist adding his own advice.

Bucconeer will not be held over the traditional Labor Day weekend. It starts Wednesday, August 5th and ends on Sunday, August 9th—not the usual Thursday through Monday Worldcon schedule.

I’ll laugh my shell off if anyone shows up in September.

When you arrive, check into your hotel and get settled before going over to the Pratt Street Lobby of the Baltimore Convention Center to pick up your registration material.

If they’ve got a hotel room to check into... Owww! Don’t pinch me! I meant they might be townies and just coming in for the day.

Don’t get your undies all bunched up, Reg ain’t going nowhere. Besides, the committee already plundered all the good freebies.

What my brother is trying to say is that some items donated by publishers or film studios—to be handed out to our members—will be set aside to be given to our hard-working volunteers.

Like none of the neat stuff don’t end up in some committee member’s suitcase. But don’t worry, there’ll be at least two million Lost in Space buttons left over for you.

Convention registration, for pre-registered members only, will open at 3 p.m. on Tuesday, August 4th. Please bring some identification bearing a likeness of yourself, such as a driver’s license and the registration "Quickie" check-in form included with this Broadside.

Children must be accompanied by a responsible adult when picking up their registration material. There will be signs directing you to stations for pre-registered members and for people buying their memberships at the convention. Please take a moment to orient yourself before "diving in." A help desk and friendly guides will be available to answer your queries.

Look, if you ain’t one of them dopes that didn’t buy a membership when they was cheap, just look for the sign with the first letter of your last name and get in that line. Then get the hell out of there and go find a bar. Sucker Reg starts 9:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. Don’t worry, nothing happens ‘til noon.

My, my. Don’t be so hasty, Yucky. Your registration package should include your name badge, a souvenir book, and a pocket program guide.

Find a quiet corner and look over your material. I find that it’s helpful to carry a highlighting pen to mark all the interesting events you’re sure to find. Worldcons just zoom by so fast—you must carefully budget your time. For five days, there are hundreds of fascinating things to do at a Worldcon.

Me, I never attend any of that program crap. Just point me to the all-night Tech Crew poker game.

Oh yes, Yucky! I was just about to mention the joys of volunteering. I heartily encourage everyone to sign up as a Bucconeer Crew Member. You meet such fascinating people and...

And get to clean up after them. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a crummy t-shirt.

Yucky! It’s a wonderful t-shirt with a stunning design by that nice Mr. Whelan.

Now where was I? Oh yes, there are some events that will require signing up in advance. For example, Kaffeeklatsches are intimate discussions between a program participant, such as an author, and a few of their fans. So take some time to look over your pocket program.

The daily newsletter and "pink sheets" provide interesting news items and up-to-the-minute information on schedule changes. They’ll be available in several locations around the convention. Naturally, there will be notice and message bulletin boards.

Yo! Just look for the Party Board and go to the Bucconeer Info Desk if you can’t find the head.

You should wear sensible walking shoes. Bring a notebook to write down the addresses of all the new friends you’re going to meet. A backpack or large bag will be useful to carry for all those items you’re pick up from the freebie tables and buy in the Dealers’ Room. But remember that bags and cameras are not allowed in the Art Show.

And be sure to drink plenty of fluids and dress comfortably because—well—in August, the weather in Baltimore can be a bit hot and humid.

Yeah, the bid committee didn’t happen to talk much about the dreaded three H’s of Baltimore summer weather—Hazy, Hot, and Horrible.

There’s something you should not bring with you.

Please do not carry weapons or imitation weapons while attending Bucconeer.

If it looks like a weapon, leave it home. That’s so simple, even Cousin Sebastian could understand it.

Yucky, you know those Disney lawyers asked you not to talk about our Cousin Sebastian.

My brother is still a little "crabby" because he didn’t get a role in that animated motion picture he’s not allowed to mention.

Stuck-up little mermaid-loving, algae sucking... Owwwww! Okay, okay!

Remember to get at least THREE solid hours of sleep [FIVE hours. – Mom], TWO square meals, AND ONE FREAKING SHOWER every day [And brush your teeth. – Mom] and you’ll live through your first Worldcon. Bring your sense of humor and buy lots of "Yucky the Crab™" souvenirs at the Sales to Members table. We’re all working on Bucconeer together...

What exactly is your job at Bucconeer, Yucky?