In a town in Tennessee there is a house on the end of Cuckoo street. When people drive by they chuckle to themselves. They have a reason to chuckle. It is the funniest house you'll ever see and always will be. This house belongs to the Misfits. The Misfits are two brothers, one named Bob and the other Billy. Bob is the one who is thick headed and dumb. He is a tall young man who is eighteen and has been held back in kindergarten because of his lack of knowing what a chicken is. Bob has only a little bit of hair, and that is black. His clothes are very messy and he has bad posture. He has only one eyebrow. Billy is the smart one. He also has black hair but more of it. He finished college when he was ten years old.
Their house is split in two. One half of the house is neat and normal looking. This side belongs to Billy. But the other side it is not so normal looking. This side belongs to Bob. Bob's side has dead flowers in the windows and one of the front steps is missing,. There are two broken windows and junk is falling out of the rest of the windows. Billy's side however is perfect in every way. There are dazzling flowers in the windows, sparkling windows, and a perfectly tilted satellite dish on the roof. And , the satellite dish was built by Billy. Billy likes to invent things and Bob likes to collect junk.
The inside is the same as the outside. Billy's side has inventions all over the place - of course on shelves. Most of Billy's invention parts comes from Bob's junk. Bob's side has so much junk that all he can do is walk down a small path though the junk he has made. Bob goes to the flea market every day to get even more junk. Bob calls the junk treasure.
The silliest thing that he has done with his "treasure" was one day he tried to use a key from a piano on a locked door.
The only room they ever meet in is the kitchen. This is because they can not split it. When they did, one side had the food and the other side had the drinks. One time when they were in the kitchen they were talking about getting a job.
"How about a doctor?" said Billy.
"Nope, Then everybody will be saying. Ehhh what's up Doc? Like the cute little bunny rabbit on T.V." replied Bob.
"Then how about a teacher?"
"I hate apples!"
"Do I get to punch it in the nose?"
"I don't want to sigh all the time. Now I am going to watch my T.V. show, Case Number 9!"
"That's it, we will open up a detective agency!"
"I want to push all the buttons!"
"Why don't we start by finding a mystery to solve, and get ourselves some camouflage to help us spy on people?" said Billy. Bob went outside and came back in the room wearing a turtle on his head. "Got it!" he said looking smug.
"Why are you wearing a turtle on your head?" asked Billy.
"Shhh. It's camouflage!" Bob said to Billy in a hushed voice. "Well, it's not like a mystery will hit us in the face. So let's go find one!" The minute Billy stepped out the door, a piece of paper hit him in the face. He pulled it away and read, 'Turtles missing! One hundred pet turtles are missing. If you see anything out of the ordinary, please call 1-800 - TURTLES. While they were distracted reading the flier, Bob's turtle crawled off his head.
"Let's find the turtles!" said Billy.
"Oh, no! Oh, no!" said Bob, "My turtle is gone! My turtle is gone! We must save the turtles!" And with that he ran down the street, and ran into a sign that said, 'Danger - End of Road'. Bob couldn't read so he kept running. Billy shouted after him, "No Bob! That's the end of the str…." Just as Bob yelled, "Help!" while he fell down a 50 foot mountain. As he was falling he saw his turtle falling down with him and said, "Hello, Mr. Turtle. How are you today?" When he finally hit the bottom he dented the rocks with his hard head and the turtle landed safely on top of his stomach. He shouted up to Billy, "I'm okay!"
As Billy looked down with wide eyes and a pale face at the remains of the rocks, he finally managed to say, "Wait there, I'm coming down!" When he got to the bottom he said to Bob, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Said Bob brightly.
"I know what the name of our detective agency should be." Billy said proudly. "It's the Misfits!"
Bob replied, "That is a stupid name."
Billy argued, "Bob, that's our last name."
"Really?" said Bob.
"Really." Billy replied.
The turtle started to walk slowly toward the lake nearby. Billy saw the turtle going to the lake and said, "Let's start our case by following it." And Billy started to run after the turtle when he froze and looked behind him. "Bob", said Billy, "When are you going to follow me?"
"Oh, yeah. Ha, ha." said Bob and he started to run after Billy. By the time they got to the edge of the lake, the turtle had already started to swim over to a large rock. The turtle climbed on top of the rock leaving muddy footprints. Then the rock started to move!
"We must follow the turtle and save him from the evil seaweed!" shouted Bob. Bob jumped into the lake and started to swim in the cold water after the moving rock. Bob was furious with the rock that was stealing his turtle! As soon as he thought he got to the rock, it would go under the water and come up again in another place in the lake. This kept going on until Bob caught the rock and held onto it the best he could until the rock and Bob disappeared near the edge of the lake. Billy dived into the lake and swam to the edge where his brother disappeared. It turns out that there was a huge one hundred foot waterfall at the edge of the lake. This waterfall led to a river. "But which river?" wondered Billy. He stood in the shallow part at the top of the waterfall and looked over the edge. He saw piranhas in the water, trees with high balconies, fire ants on the shore, and mangoes in the trees. Can you guess which river it is? Well, it turns out it was the Amazon River! Now, Billy was smart. He climbed down the rocks along the side of the waterfall. He got down to the bank of the river and started to look for his thick headed brother.
Again, the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall were crushed because of Bob's hard head. He found his brother on the top of a giant turtle, with Bob's turtle resting on it's back. Billy overheard Bob talking to both of the turtles and saying, "I remember one time I got stung by lots of bees and then I swelled up like a balloon. I began to float in the air like a turkey, so I started to bark like a turkey." Bob laughed after the story he told and while laughing, he fell backwards into the water. Billy began laughing at Bob.
Who else but Bob would think that turkeys could bark and fly?!
Once Bob came up to the surface, there were piranhas all around him and one big one attached to his head. At this, Billy laughed even harder. When Bob finally noticed that there were piranhas on his head and body, he began running around saying, "It is sucking out my brains! It is sucking out my brains!" All of a sudden he stopped running and like a balloon with air being let out, he started to fly around and then floated down onto the rocks, all shriveled up like a raisin. Billy stood where he was, horror struck to see his brother all shriveled up like that. Then Billy started to put his hands over his face and began laughing. The piranha that sucked out Bob's brain started to talk! "This is the most distasteful brain I have ever tasted!"
Billy asked, "What did you do that for?"
"I am going to tell you my evil plan!" said the piranha bloodthirstily. "First, I am going to suck everyone's brains out! Second, I am going to make all the turtles in the world my soldiers. Butter toast."
"What did you say?" asked Billy.
"Nothing." Said the piranha and then he said, "Butter toast," again. "My plan is to take the brains of others and use them to do my w…" The piranha was about to say 'will' but just then got attacked by an angry Billy. When Billy punched the fish, he got a charge of electricity through his body and afterwards was as black as the night sky. Do you know what happened to Billy? Well, this piranha was not the master mind they were looking for, he was a robot. But, whoever the master mind was, the Misfits at least knew what the plan was. On the side of the river, Billy saw a little pink lump that looked like bubble gum. It was Bob's brain!
Pulling the Plug!
It must have fallen out of the robot piranha's mouth when Billy punched it. Billy went over and picked up Bob's brain. He walked over to Bob, then blew him up with his breath and popped Bob's brain back in his head.
"Billy?", Bob said dizzily.
"Bob!" said Billy excitedly .
"Oh, I saw something at the bottom of the lake!" said Bob. So, Bob jumped back into the river and went to look for whatever he had seen. All of a sudden, Bob came back up and had something that looked like a plug in his hand. Billy yelled to Bob, "Is that the plug to the river?" Then the water started to swirl around and made a whirlpool.. Bob and Billy got sucked into the whirlpool and started to spin around with it. All the water went down the drain with Bob and Billy, plus both turtles.
Afterwards, Bob and Billy found themselves at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Bob was thrilled to be under the water and started to swim around like a sea turtle. Billy opened his eyes and saw that they were under the water and he said, "Let's follow that turtle!" For at that moment, the giant turtle started to swim towards an underwater volcano. Billy said, "What is that turtle doing?" The turtle kept on swimming until he disappeared into the side of the volcano! Billy said, "How did he DO that?" Bob saw his turtle was swimming towards the volcano also. Bob swam after his turtle. The turtle swam to the top of the volcano and swam right through the magma. When Bob tried to do this, he got burnt until he was a black as burnt toast. Billy came over to Bob to see what just happened. He noticed that his brother was also burnt and commented, "I like your new look. You match me!" He then asked, "What should we do now?"
"There must be a way to get in." said Billy.
"Well, I don't know how. I am going to sit here and wait until Mr. Turtle comes out." said Bob. He sat on a coral reef nearby and saw a button. "What does this do?" said Bob curiously, and then he pushed it and the side of the volcano opened up.
Mr. Tu R. Tle
Billy swam in and Bob followed behind him. When they got in the volcano, they saw lots of special equipment and computers.
"Wow!" exclaimed Bob, "So many buttons!"
"We have got to find the master mind." said Billy.
They saw the giant turtle alongside of a black chair with its back turned so you could not see who or what was sitting in it. "So, you have found the way in I see. But, I wonder if you can defeat me!" said the thing in the black chair in a deep voice. "Bah -ha-ha-ha!" it laughed evilly.
"Who are you and what do you want?" bellowed Billy.
"I want to rule the world because I am treated like a lower life form, but I am not!" the thing shouted from the chair as it turned around. "The answer to your first question is, I am Mr. Tu R. Tle." And sure enough, there was Bob's turtle sitting in the black chair looking grim. "I am going to blow this planet to bits with this volcano. Of course, there are some chemicals to make it stronger, so it will blow up the earth more efficiently."
"How could you?!" said Bob with tears falling from his eyes.
Mr. Tu R. Tle ignored him. "I must thank my Pet." said Mr. Tu R. Tle and began rubbing the head of the big turtle.
"Mmmmm," said Pet because it felt so pleasant.
"For bringing me back, you see. Some humans found my volcano, so I had to flee. But Pet stayed to guard my lair and to wait for my return. I went so far I forgot where my lair was. After a while, I did not return. So Pet went to look for me. By the way, I built him with a detector so that he would be able to find me. When he did finally track me down, we made a plan. The plan was that I would let Bob, since he was dumb, follow me. Then I would run away knowing that he was going to look for me and I was hoping he would fall off the edge of the canyon and make a soft landing for me."
"Then I saw Pet in the lake, disguised as a rock. He was all covered with mud. I went over to him so he could take me home. Unfortunately you two started to follow me. Bob started to go after me in the water, but Pet tried to swim away. Finally he got us so, we tried to get away through falling down the waterfall. I hid with technology, hoping you wouldn't follow me, but that failed too."
"Oh, so that's why I never saw a waterfall there." Said Billy.
"Yes. Anyway, I had only two more tricks that might get rid of you. I wanted to use the piranha, so I told Pet to call the piranha so it could suck Bob's brain out and Billy would panic while we got away. But that failed too, so we had to go to the last resort. We had to use the plug. But before we got to the plug, Bob used it. That didn't get rid of you, but it took us to my lair where I could finish the job."
"Before you found me, when I was away from my lair, I decided to get some new little pets. I put them in a bag in my shell - all 100 of them. Ha - ha - ha! I have been using the turtles to make electricity! See, by putting them into tubes that stick out from the walls, and that roll with each other, they create just enough power to make this place run efficiently."
"But why didn't you use hamsters to do that?" questioned Billy.
"Because then I would have a power overload, since this place only needs a little bit of power."
"What are you doing?" said Mr. Tu R. Tle. For at that moment, Bob was looking at a button that said 'self destruct'.
"I must push the big red button!" shouted Bob and then he did.
The computer said, "Self destruct mode activated. Count down activated. Five, four…".
"Let's get out of here!" said Billy and the two of them swam for their lives and hid behind a reef.
The volcano exploded into pieces and all the magma was shot up about fifty feet high. All that was left was a black cloud of sand where the volcano used to be. Just then all 98 turtles came swimming out into the sea to eat jellyfish. The 99th and 100th turtles did not appear. Those were Mr. Tu R. Tle and Pet. They didn't come out ever again.
After a few minutes, Bob and Billy swam out of the black cloud and started to swim towards the surface. When they reached the surface, there was a tour boat on the top of the water near them. Billy yelled to the boat's captain, "Can you take us to land?"
"Sure." replied the captain. When they got aboard, they got into dry clothes and had a bite to eat, since they were starving. When they got on land again, they took the metrobus home.
"It's nice to be home!" said Billy.
"Yeah!" agreed Bob.
When they were in the kitchen Billy said, "I think being a detective is fun. What do you think Bob? Bob?" Bob was under the table looking at something. "Look what I found!" said Bob. Sure enough, Bob was holding a turtle. "Here we go again!" said Billy.
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