I hate this more than I can say.
All my life, the idea of being a guest of honor at a WorldCon has been one of those dreams, like winning a Hugo...something you hope may happen, but probably never will. So this has been probably the high point of my career to date.
The other day Harlan said "There is a war in heaven over you; you always get the good but the bad comes right with it... 'Yes you can be GoH at a WorldCon, but no... you can't go'"
I just got back from the doctor's, for a follow-up exam. Bottom line: I'm past the worst of it this round, but I'm weak as a kitten, and ripe for a relapse if I put any stress on my system. He felt strongly that if I went to this convention, under the current conditions, that I would have a 90% chance of going from walking pneumonia to full-fledged acute pneumonia, which would almost certainly result in a hospital stay. (I shouldn't even be up and working as it is.)
I tried arguing every way that I could, but he was absolutely adamant about it. Kathryn and Harlan have also jumped on me about following the doctor's orders... and I have to do what's right for the show. If I'm incapacitated, the show falls.
I hate this more then words can convey. I was looking forward to this more than any other convention I've been involved with. But I can't go.
The only bright side... is I'll be sending all the videotapes I'd planned on showing with Julie Walker, head of our fan club and previously head of the MST3K fan club. So she'll be there to show all the stuff that I would have shown, so folks who come to see B5 stuff (and some Crusade stuff) will see it.
I cannot apologize for this enough; I wish I could say I could make it, but at this point it seems it would seriously endanger my health, and I can't do that.
Yrs, bitterly disappointed,
jms